Now that I’ve had some time to reflect, I want to share a little more about my TEDx Winnipeg speaker experience. It was humbling, to say the very least.
Making the shortlist was exciting enough, but the next step was a two-minute pitch on a stage in front of a room full of strangers. After a lot of prep and practice, I somehow got up there – heart pounding, palms sweating – and did it.
When I found out I’d been chosen as a TEDx speaker, I was equal parts honoured and shocked. Me?!?
From there, the real work began.
Initially, I felt intimidated. There are so many lessons we can learn from honey bees and how they function as a superorganism – acceptance, adaptability, caring for every life, communication, resilience, helping where they can, shared purpose – how could I possibly narrow it down to one focus?
My coach, Libby Leah, helped guide my script with such care, and she challenged me to think more deeply about my message. I spent countless hours going down rabbit holes on honey bees, collective decision-making, shared purpose and ego.
At first, I wanted to include more of the complex bee science and the parts that proved my expertise, especially surrounded by so many accomplished people – and as a woman in a male-dominated industry. Eventually, I had to admit that was my ego talking and cut those parts. Yes, very ironic, considering my message.
The hardest part was including the personal story about my daughter’s mental health struggles and the way my own colony – family, friends, colleagues, community – stepped in to support us when we were in crisis. My daughter feels strongly that we should talk about these things openly to reduce stigma, and I agree. That piece carried so much weight.
By draft 27, I figured that was it and memorized my script for the May rehearsal. Then I was told I still needed to cut four minutes. That came as a surprise and was disheartening. Imposter syndrome hit hard and I spiralled.
It was a tough day. I was already sitting with unexpected emotions I had clearly bottled up around my daughter’s struggles even though she has since come through that chapter stronger than ever.
But once again, my colony stepped up – friends, family, the other speakers and coaches – all held me up and kept me going.
It was all meant to be. I found myself reworking the talk, with my mom becoming a more meaningful part of it, on Mother’s Day.
When the day arrived, I woke up feeling deeply grateful. I chose to lean into that. And during the talk itself, I had the strangest experience – I completely blacked out and watched myself from somewhere outside myself while also giving myself a running commentary. Hahah.
In the end, what stayed with me most was this: behind every speaker is an entire crew of people making something special happen. TEDx Winnipeg is that kind of community. A special thanks to Kerry, the organizer, who took extra time to work through it with me until I felt more grounded.
I am excited to see the video, but at the same time, I have already let it go. One young girl from the TEDx event still stands out to me – sweet, beautiful and strong. She shared how much this message meant to her and said she admired my courage for doing this whole thing. That is truly enough.